Monday, April 18, 2011

Take me to Pleasure Town

That's what I'm talking about ESPN.  Get that bullshit Canadiens tree-hugging, man-kissing, straight up softest team in the league shit outta here.  This is the way to start the week off right.  Helloooo Patriots Day....yes Patriots Day, the holiday that only Massachusetts believes is worth celebrating, but hey we're not complaining.


Its the best Monday a Boston sports fan could ask for.  Red Sox have figured out a way to un-fuck themselves and have actually won two games in a row.  The B's have the biggest game of the season tonight in Montreal, down 0-2 they have to win.   I can't take, I won't take two consecutive years of playoff disappointments.  Even the Marathon today is not that bad.  I only pay attention to the African who finishes first, but hey good for you if you finish it.


Enjoy the day, because Monday's don't get much better than this.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ray Allen, Mr. Clutch

11 of his 24 points in the game scored down the stretch to lead the Celtics to a comeback victory over the surging Knicks.  Hitting a deep three with seconds left in the game.  No one is a smooth as Ray.  Add tonight's performance to the list, Mr. Clutch strikes again.

The Feminization of Sport

Being a man comes with a lot of responsibilities, like farting, eating and drinking bud heavys all day.  But along with that is the basic concept of.... being a man.  But rule makers in football and lacrosse are successfully taking that away from their prospective sports with their new rules.  For god sake mens sports are played by MEN, not some old grandmas in Mrs. Murphy's sewing circle.  MEN have played each sport for years and have seemed to survive each sport, each sport is absolutely 100% over-reacting to the concussion paranoia. People get concussions, fact. It's gonna happen, no one can take that out of a contact sport played by MEN unless they take contact out of the game, but that's exactly what's happening.

What if Ditka played football with these new rules? He'd get his entire pay check taken away in fines and probably get kicked out of the league.  You know why? Because Ditka is a MAN and MEN hit each other.  I swear to god sometimes it looks like I'm watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there (3:28 mark).  In a couple years we'll be seeing Adrianne Curry strapping on the pads, seriously MEN grow a pair.  I'm sick and tired of seeing bone crushing hits and then seeing a yellow flag on the field, I need to see people die, testosterone is good for sport. Contact sports are for MEN and non contact sports are for women, let's try and keep it that way.  In conclusion I think this makes my case better than any words can.

written by guest writer Matty Ice

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 Kevin Valenti 
I was the valedictorian for the bottom third of my high school class


Well done Kevin, well done.  It's sort of like saying you banged the hottest girl in the special-ed class.  Which TheRealValenti probably has done.  Nevertheless, you got yours, and for that, we applaud you.  

Saturday, April 16, 2011