http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6grvJgkSe7o&feature=player_detailpage
For some reason this video won't load, so you got to clink the URL link to Youtube to watch it.
The Day is finally here. Bruins v Canucks. USA v Canada. Spiderman v Green Goblin. The Classic good vs evil matchup. Vancouver is no Montreal, hatred is not a given, but they are Canadian and between us at the Cup, so therefore they are a pathetic, weak, feeble, evil posse.
The fact that this clown changed the name of his chain pizza stores from Boston Pizza to Vancouver Pizza is plain stupid. 1. He did the same thing in Quebec when the B's played Montreal. How'd that work out for you? The Canadiens are on the golf course right now. 2. Don't fix something that isn't broken. All 70 boston pizza stores hasn't messed up the Canucks playoffs so far, why change it up now? Are the underdog Bruins that scary? Sack up bro, you might as well just hand over the Cup. The Canucks fans are soft, spineless pussys. 3. Instead of being self-rigtheous, and honking your own horn, this guy should have done something for Canucks fans, like free pizza to ease the pain of losing another Stanley Cup. Nothing works better than eating your feelings away.
go b's
P.S. Julie Foudy is a fox
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
See ya
Friday, May 27, 2011
GYM TAN LAX EXPLODES
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Cannons announce JV dance team
Get your act together. Get the varsity squad together. Bring home the title to Boston.
SLAMBALL, I'M IN
Things have been slow on the Sermon in May, quite frankly I've been busy. I haven't been able to sit on my ass all day and surf the internet. I had to stop living the dream. But I'm back, sort of. I need to play slamball, it is the future of sports entertainment.
Ever since I realized I was not going to become famous playing sports (around the 5th grade), I've been looking for the next best opportunity to make it big. Hello SlamBall.
Yes I'm too slow. Yes I'm too lanky. Yes I'm unable to jump. I'll be the Tedy Bruschi of SlamBall. Kids 50 years from know will be talking about my heart. Luckily, the trampolines fix my inability to jump (otherwise known as being white). There really isn't much running, so I'm okay. And my abnormally long limbs might be an advantage actually.
Anyways, we need a SlamBall court/league/championship/smokeshow fans, and we need it now.
P.S. "Mason Gordon" is the founder of Slamball, what kind of name is that? sounds soft
Ever since I realized I was not going to become famous playing sports (around the 5th grade), I've been looking for the next best opportunity to make it big. Hello SlamBall.
Yes I'm too slow. Yes I'm too lanky. Yes I'm unable to jump. I'll be the Tedy Bruschi of SlamBall. Kids 50 years from know will be talking about my heart. Luckily, the trampolines fix my inability to jump (otherwise known as being white). There really isn't much running, so I'm okay. And my abnormally long limbs might be an advantage actually.
Anyways, we need a SlamBall court/league/championship/smokeshow fans, and we need it now.
P.S. "Mason Gordon" is the founder of Slamball, what kind of name is that? sounds soft
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Game 2, It's On
We've been here before, no biggie. After sweeping the Flyers it can't be that surprising that the B's dropped one. Home ice advantage doesn't mean very much to this squad anyways. However, this deep in the playoffs, and facing the offense fire-power that Tampa Bay has found (somehow), we do not want to lose again.
Yes Bergy might be out, but the young buck Seguin looked pretty damn good in game one. Sort of reminds me of Phil Kessel his rookie year, healthy scratch all playoffs, finally gets his shot and bam! Lightin' the lamp like a seasoned vet (I don't mean to be complimenting Kessel, he's a traitor, but there is promise for Seguin).
The Chris Kelly line was phenomenal in the previous two series. Look for the him, Ryder, and Peverley to step up tonight. Ryder has one of the biggest wrist-shots in the league, and if he can get going the Garden will be bumping tonight.
Am I worried? Not yet. Am I excited? Yes. Are the Lightning beatable? Absolutely.
go b's
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Sucks to be Philly
Hell yeahh B's. I'm on the road and have been busy, apologies for the lack of posts. Go Celts!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Playoffs baby
Welcome to the party Blazers. Dangerous Dan Dawson's bringing the
Champion's Cup to Boston.
Champion's Cup to Boston.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
AMERICA....FUCK YEAHHH
NSFW pics after the jump
Nut up or Shut up
Game 7: Fairies on Ice vs the Bruins. It'll all be decided tonight at the Garden. History will be made. No more Canadian officials bullshit. Were back in the U-S-of-A. Chris Kelly and his full cage swag will lead the B's to victory over No-Skill Gill's frenchies.
Should this Ke$ha shirt be the uniforms for my summer baseball team?
When the other team sees us rocking these official Ke$ha Get Sleazy Tour uni's they know that their fucked. We may not be the most skilled team (just like Ke$ha is not the most attractive mouth and tits) but we fuck shit up, and we don't care about what other people think.
I'm going to say this now, yes it's a little premature, but Summer ball+Ke$ha= guaranteed pussy. I'm not sure how it's going to happen, but it will.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Late Night Jam of the Day
This one goes out to Varsity Drew and William C Burke IV (Varsity Hockey MVP 2010-2011).
Good Bye Hermione...wait that's not her
Boston.com
"Harry Potter" star Emma Watson is transferring out of Brown University. Her spokeswoman Vanessa Davies said the actress had a great experience at Brown but that she’s interested in taking courses that are not offered at the school. Though Davies did not say where Watson planned to enroll, the Daily News said she’s been seen looking at NYU.
When I first read the headline that Emma Watson was leaving New England, I thought it was a major disappointment for us all. But then I saw the recent picture of her, and I think it should be a celebrated event. Note to Women of the World: No short hair....ever. There is only one person that can pull it off, Halle Berry. Look in the mirror. If your not Halle Berry, keep your hair long.
Emma Watson was attractive. Now that she looks like a 12 year old girl/middle-aged lesbian. Good bye Emma Watson. You once rocked my dreams, but now you only haunt them.
Will the U become THE U again?
1. Great fucking speech, those players were eating it all up, heck I was ready to go after hearing that.
2. What's up with the non-lineman white guy? That is likely the reason why Miami has struggled recently.
3. If Miami wants to be big deal, why are they playing at soem high-school stadium for their spring game? Ohio State Fuckeyes were in the Horseshoe and was televised, Michigan was in the Big House, even Boston College got to play in Alumni Stadium. But THE U had to bus its guys over to some local high school stadium? (which by the way was bigger than most College stadiums in the Northeast. In my second life, I want to be a high school football player in the South. Just killing it with Friday Night Lights, smokeshow cheerleaders, and random people shouting my name when I walk around town.)
4. Al Golden is a horrible coach. I apologize to he and his family, but he will not lead THE U back to the promise land. He just a fuckin tape recorder with a head set on.
5. Miami Football players still cannot read or write or speak. This is actually a good sign, I think there headed int he right direction on the football field then. THE U is not about academics and books, it's about being fucking awesome at football and shoving it in everyones face. If the players could read and write they might actually go to class and then they would lose their focus on football.
6. They need a QB. All the highlights were INTs. You ain't going to win throwing pics all day, just ask Peyton Manning about that.
7. Boston College will beat Miami again this year, Nov. 26. Mark your calendars, you heard it here.
I think the answer is No, the U is no longer THE U.
2. What's up with the non-lineman white guy? That is likely the reason why Miami has struggled recently.
3. If Miami wants to be big deal, why are they playing at soem high-school stadium for their spring game? Ohio State Fuckeyes were in the Horseshoe and was televised, Michigan was in the Big House, even Boston College got to play in Alumni Stadium. But THE U had to bus its guys over to some local high school stadium? (which by the way was bigger than most College stadiums in the Northeast. In my second life, I want to be a high school football player in the South. Just killing it with Friday Night Lights, smokeshow cheerleaders, and random people shouting my name when I walk around town.)
4. Al Golden is a horrible coach. I apologize to he and his family, but he will not lead THE U back to the promise land. He just a fuckin tape recorder with a head set on.
5. Miami Football players still cannot read or write or speak. This is actually a good sign, I think there headed int he right direction on the football field then. THE U is not about academics and books, it's about being fucking awesome at football and shoving it in everyones face. If the players could read and write they might actually go to class and then they would lose their focus on football.
6. They need a QB. All the highlights were INTs. You ain't going to win throwing pics all day, just ask Peyton Manning about that.
7. Boston College will beat Miami again this year, Nov. 26. Mark your calendars, you heard it here.
I think the answer is No, the U is no longer THE U.
Monday, April 25, 2011
You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?
When your driving on the highway, long trip, so you’re a little on edge because your butt starts to hurt after sitting so long, and you pull off at one of the rest stops to grab some McDonald’s. Maybe there is a Papa Gino’s in the building too, but you have no choice but eat at the Golden Arches. Nothing says /smells road trip like a double ¼ pounder with cheese, large fries, and apple pie.
When you walk in, it’s all business, order your food (using the numbers of course)…Ill have a number 3, super size, with a double shake, swirl it, and a fresh Johnny Appleseed, better make that for the road, with a some hankies on top. Sound as serious and important as possible. The good employees at McDonald’s (oxymoron?) will get it, and if they mess your order up, which they obviously will, and give you a baked potato or even worse a salad, then you can complain and get your money back. It’s a win-win.
Anyways, the part about these pit stops that really grinds my gears is when your waiting in line, just itching for your burger, and there is a manatee that can’t decide if she/he wants a two or three orders of McNuggets. Finally, after making the life-altering choice of ordering a large Oreo McFlurry, she/he adds, in a proud tone, “oh and a diet coke. “ WOAH!! Diet coke? Are you sure, that might just be a little too healthy for you. 1. You don’t tell the people at McDonald’s what drink you want, you just say, small/medium/large. You fill it up yourself. There is no need to announce your monumental choice. 2. Is a Diet Soda really going to make a difference? I don’t think those cankles are going to magically disappear now that you wash down a couple of greasy Big Macs with a Diet Coke. Don’t lie to yourself, your not being healthy either way. 3. Stop acting like you’re so damn important and courageous for ordering a diet drink. EVERYONE knows you really want a cherry-coke. 4. Stop taking forever to choose which McDonald’s item is going to be your explanation to your doctor for why you need a triple-by-pass surgery. If it’s easier, just say I’ll take 1…of everything. Then, the rest of the world could get our own food and get out of there.
That’s what grinds my gears.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Knicks who?
Since the Heat couldn't finish off the pitiful 76ers, Celtics get a few days off. Time to focus on the B's pounding the Habs.
P.S. The Canadiens are a bunch of pussies
Friday, April 22, 2011
Late Night Jam of the Day
In honor of the Red Sox figuring out that it's not spring training anymore, and these games actually count. How much money do they get paid to sit in the dug out and chew seeds?
Comeback Story of the Decade!!!
Nytimes.com
TOOTHPASTE? Check. Tampons? Check. Vibrator? Check!
For years, vibrators were bought quietly in sex shops, and later online, arriving in discreet unmarked packages. They were rarely discussed, other than perhaps during a late-night girl-talk session fueled by many glasses of pinot grigio. But now you can find them advertised on MTV and boldly displayed at Duane Reade, Walgreens and other mainstream drugstores, mere steps from the Bengay and Dr. Scholl’s.....http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/21/fashion/21VIBRATORS.html (click for story)
Vibrators!!! So apparently vibrators are crowding the shelves of walgreens and CVS pharmacy's, and they're flying off the shelves. I'm not quite sure what to think about this. On one hand, hey great job, women are taking "ownership of their sexuality"!!!!! (wait is that a good thing?) Is the skyrocketing of vibrator stock a reflection of poor male performance over the past ten years, or are women trending towards homosexuality, and now have no use for the men?
I think this troubling trend could stem from the emergence of male feminists. The encouragement of sexual individuality from the opposite gender has caused women to believe that a piece of plastic made in china with a battery powered by 2 AA batteries equals success. No...false..wrong. This is what's wrong with our society. We are turning to material objects to provide us happiness.
What happened to the days when a woman was happy from baking fresh pies and cleaning? Happiness can be found from the feeling of achievement (it's scientifically proven), and last time I checked its a worthy achievement when one see's the look of a man's satisfied face after polishing off a warm pie.
Anyways, does this mean that pocketpussies are soon to be available at pharmacies? And the guy in the article made a vibrator that was a mold of his own pecker....I'm not sure if that's romantic or creepy (Im thinking creepy).
Introducing 3pete...Pistol...Peter the Great
Im at a loss of words today, my vocabulary just cannot do anyone justice. 3pete goes big or goes home. Living in Philly, he's surrounded by the enemy, but he ain't scared to let them know that they're pussies, and the B's will take them, anytime, anywhere, anyhow (we're worried about history today).
3pete...hmm that's an interesting name, I wonder how he got it? Rumor has it he killed 3 mountain lions with only a rock and his bare hands.
Any way you slice it, 3pete's a dangerous man. Ladies, you'd be lucky to have this ringer by your side, but he usually has a pack of companions.
My life as a animated character...
This one is easy: Archer. In case you haven't seen Archer, remove yourself from the spiderhole you have been living in all year, sign out of facebook for a few minutes (it's okay, it'll still be there when you get back), and get the Archer DVD or Online Episode or on TV (does anyone still watch shows on TV?). It's a combination of spy-guns-girls with a few lacrosse and prep school jokes squeezed in. Anything I write here cannot do it justice, I'm just not a very good salesman for TV shows....or anything. I will say, that if I could be one fictional character, it'd be Archer. I think you'll agree with me.
Here's a Top 5 from Archer, check it out
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Late Night Jam of the Day
Put this one on repeat, and just go with it.
Nice call #17, coming up big with this one.
RANGERS LOSE!
Luckiest goal in the playoffs, talk about being in the right place at the right time. Bizarre finish to cap a great comeback, down 0-3 going into the 3rd, and winning it in 2OT. It was a back-breaking play. Series is over, Capitals will finish it off back in D.C. But thanks for playing New York, not everyone can hang with the big boys up in children's lingerie.
What's wrong with this picture?
2.WildnWild shirt. Nothing like a water park thats filled with random people's piss. Grow up man, your not 6 anymore.
3. Tank Top. First, I'm all for the the right tank, say #17 here, killing it.
4. That thing lying on his concave chest. Get it together, there's something to be said for the diverse poon portfolio, but there's a time to reign it in as well.
TheRealValenti strikes again
TheRealValenti Kevin Valenti
One slot is filled @justsheenit applications are flowing in. apply now#wedonthaveherpies
TheRealValenti Kevin Valenti
I nailed my test today meaning time to rage. I allready accpted I'm going to regret tonight tomorrow
Yes, pure twitter gold. The Real Valenti is running away with the Tweetstar awards. I think he might get his own column soon. The progression of his thoughts is priceless. Rage to ridiculously good-looking to threesome. Sounds good to me
Become a tweetstar, follow tliv39, and look for your tweets on The Sermon
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Looks like Russell might leave a mark
GreenMan belongs to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, not Canada
Good try guys, I like the creativity, but not everyone can just put on a Green Man suit. Green Man belongs in Philly, and even though the worlds hates Philadelphia fans, and the Flyers, it just doesn't feel right that these guys aren't in the Wachovia Center. This brings us to the best thing that came out of philly, besides the cheesesteak, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A must watch show, its on FX I think, but you can just watch it online like 99% of the world.
P.S. I think I'm going to lose the 4 Canadian viewers that The Sermon has had with this post
P.S. I think I'm going to lose the 4 Canadian viewers that The Sermon has had with this post
WARNING, DO NOT BRING AK-47 LOOK A LIKE UMBRELLAS TO MALLS. No wait, its just a plain, black umbrella.
boston.com
BURLINGTON — In retrospect, the young man probably wishes he had just worn his rain jacket. As it was, he set out against the weather with an umbrella, a choice that in another time probably would have passed without consequence. But in the age of the orange alert, when airport public announcement systems and news reports sound a thrum of warnings about dangers in our midst, the umbrella protruding from his backpack during a visit to the Burlington Mall yesterday looked, to some people, like a gun. After two employees reported a man with what seemed to be a short rifle ducking into a
This is today's sign that our society is completely fucked. Forget the obesity crisis, forget our governments inability to do anything productive, forget that truth that the quickest way to get famous is make a sex tape and then deny wanting people to see it (ex. Erin Andrews...Paris Hilton...Kim Kardashian). The geniuses at the Burlington Mall called in the SWAT team, Drug Dogs, and Helicopters because they thought they saw a guy with a gun sticking out of his backpack, but it was actually an umbrella. Wait what?
1. What psycho would put his gun in his backpack, with half the barrel showing? No one would. Trench coats were made for a reason. It does not make any sense. Would I put, say my umbrella that I use because its raining outside in my backpack....hmm yes, I think I would.
2. Is it too difficult for say one of the hundreds of employees/Paul Blart Mall Cops to simply ask the guy whats in his backpack before calling in the National Guard? People need to start using common sense...just ask the guy, BAM, problem solved.
3. This story was on the Front Page of The Boston Globe. The Globe is good for one thing, and one thing only, the Sports Section. But have some self-respect Globe. This is your #1 story?? There is a reason the Globe almost went out of business. It's a complete joke...minus the sports section.
4. Yes, I will blast this song whenever I am close to the Burlington Mall from now on.
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